


blessed with a wilder mind (Part One)

by sheApunk89



Series: wilder mind [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Brotherhood, CT-7567 | Rex Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Remix, Fix-It of Sorts, Force-Sensitive CT-7565 | Rex, Force-Sensitive Clone Troopers (Star Wars), Gen, Jedi cleaning up their karking messes, Keeli is bae, M/M, My emotional support fic is back babyyyy, cody is the best bro, repost by original author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28877295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheApunk89/pseuds/sheApunk89
Summary: [REPOST of chapters 1-6]The Kaminoan's taught them from the very beginning about shielding and building walls around their thoughts.The Jedi are very powerful, it would be unseemly for you clones to distract them with your trivial thoughts.Rex didn’t appreciate the sentiment, but he did appreciate the training. He knew, somehow, that it was very, very important that he be able to keep this to himself.OR: [the one where Rex is Force Sensitive, and it changes everything]
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-5597 | Jesse/CT-6116 | Kix, CT-6116 | Kix & CT-7567 | Rex, Keeli & CT-7567 | Rex, Obi-Wan Kenobi & CT-7567 | Rex
Series: wilder mind [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117757
Comments: 14
Kudos: 148





	1. Kamino and The First Battle of Geonosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a repost. I am the original author. (original post [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26357599/chapters/64194178), if you for some reason wanted chapter summaries and the like)

Keeli knew. 

The first time it happened they were Fours. They'd just been shown to their new pods, where they would sleep until they finished their training. They were too big now but the Kaminoans said they'd grow into them soon enough. None of them knew the last batch who'd used these pods, they didn't know what had happened to them. There had been no reason to ask, and no one to tell them even if they did.

Rex touched his new pod for the first time and he felt as if he'd been burned. The faces of brothers he didn't know slammed into his mind, bringing their agony along with them. Their screams echoed in his head, their crying pulling against his heart, they were hurting and alone and _why? why did they take them away?_ Waves of pain like broken bones and aching muscles seemed to come from outside himself and Rex was on his knees, his head pounding and his throat raw.

He realized Keeli's arms were around him, rocking him, talking low and soothing and Rex felt sobs cracking open in his chest and he had both hands pressed under his arms, palms flat against his own tunic.

When Rex couldn't bring himself to approach his tube again, Keeli let him share his. When they got too big together, Keeli volunteered to take Rex's and Rex slept with one hand pressed against the wall of the one they'd shared, comforting himself with the feeling of warmth and love that seemed to radiate out of it.

* * *

The Kaminoan's taught them from the very beginning about shielding and building walls around their thoughts.

_The Jedi are very powerful, it would be unseemly for you clones to distract them with your trivial thoughts._

Rex didn’t appreciate the sentiment, but he did appreciate the training. He knew, somehow, that it was very, _very_ important that he be able to keep this to himself.

_(Yes, little one, this is necessary, for now)_

The Voice was constant, it had always been there, like Keeli or the feeling of being watched.

He liked the Voice. It was soothing, friendly in a way that should have felt foreign, but instead reminded him of the feeling of a brother's hand on his shoulder.

But when Rex realized his brothers couldn't hear it too he started actively ignoring it _\- deviation, defect, mutie -_ and focused on building a wall around that too.

Until Geonosis.

Geonosis changed _everything_.

War had been something intangible then. Something to be looked forward to. The fulfillment of their purpose: defending the Republic, serving the Jedi.

Geonosis was supposed to be, perhaps not a dream come true, but- nearly that.

Instead it had been a nightmare come to life. As if he'd reached out and touched the hand of Death, tasting it like ash in his mouth and swallowing it so that it burned him from within.

It had been blood and screaming, watching men die over and over again all around. His friends, his _brothers_.

Rex saw a Geonosian swoop down from above and lay down a line of fire that sprayed sand into the crevices of his armor and cut down a brother near his elbow.

Rex dove for the vod's body, caught it before it could slump to the ground and _please not Keeli please not him pleasepleaseplease_.

It was not Keeli. And Rex felt horrified at how relieved he was that it is another dead vod in his arms. In that moment of heady relief and despairing self-recrimination his control slipped, just a little and-

Rex's hands flew to his head because everything just became _so much_. The explosions were louder. The light was brighter, and it was so _cold_ all of a sudden.

Rex realized with horror that this would be his life from now on, it would only be this. The desert fell away and he saw himself on a dark planet with brothers crying out all around him, awash with guilt. He saw himself cradling the body of a shiny (how did he know it was a shiny?) inside an enemy base, the kid had gone limp, covered in his own blood. He saw Jedi he didn't know with their heads bowed, standing in front of a pyre that made Rex want to scream even though he didn't know who was burning.

He blinked.

He was back on Geonosis and there was dirt and death and blood and cold cold emptiness that he realized, with clarity that stole his breath, was the feeling of life just...ending.

And the Voice...the Voice was back.

And it was _screaming_.

Rex picked up his rifle and ran toward the fighting, to where a feeling low in his gut and all around him told him to go and he didn't stop. He pulled his shields up again and focused on the task at hand.

He was ruthless, effective, everything the Kaminoan's had designed him to be.

_(Please be careful, little one)_

He was a _very_ good soldier and the Jedi took notice.

"What's your name?"

Rex stood at attention, his head was killing him and it hurt to breathe but a Jedi was addressing him so-

"CT-7567, sir." And then with a bit of a rebellious thrill (because the Kaminoans weren't here, were they?), "They call me Rex."

The Jedi, he was young, a cadet maybe? Did Jedi have cadets? He wore dark robes and a wild glint in his eyes. "Rex, huh? Good work out there, Rex."

"Anakin!"

Rex and the Jedi both turned to see another Jedi, with light robes and red hair, leaning out the side of a LAATi as it lifted off the sand.

"Duty calls, Rex. Maybe I'll see you again someday."

Rex held his salute until the LAATi disappeared on the horizon. Then he turned back to the battlefield, littered with singed armor and giant bugs twitching intermittently as the last light if life within them winked out.

He lifted his chin and got to work.

* * *

Rex didnt see Keeli again until ARC training. So many CCs and Jedi had been lost on Geonosis that the GAR was scrambling to fill the open positions. Every CT that scored in the top 5% percentile of their class, and survived Geonosis, was sent back to Kamino for ARC training, in the hopes that it would be enough to make up for the lack of specialized instruction and programming the lost CCs had by default.

When Rex spotted his batch mate across the room that first day he'd nearly thrown every vod between them out if his way in his haste to get to him. As it was he ended up shoving his way through the crowd of brothers, and if a few stumbled back without Rex having to physically touch them, well, he was too distracted to notice.

"You're alive." They breathed, pressed in close and holding keldabe, eyes closed.

"Thought I'd lost you, vod." Rex ground out, feeling silly for the tears in his voice.

"Nah, vod. It was a walk in the park." Keeli's voice was full of false teasing, Rex had heard it often enough to know the difference and was thankful anyway. "Now, lets kick ARC training's shebse."

ARC training, it turned out, was much more adept at kicking _their_ shebse, rather than the other way around.

After two weeks, Rex had forgotten what it was like to move without pain or wake up without new bruises.

By the third he'd learned to tell the difference between sprained and pulled and broken, and knew only the last wasn't a 'suck it up, walk it off and do it again but better' level of injury. He'd stopped even noticing the smell of bacta in the barracks.

It was the fourth week, sitting up with Keeli, too tired and sore and high on adrenalin to sleep, that he learned his closest vod had the Voice too.

"Like a whisper in the back of your mind. Feels warm, safe. Like when an Alpha steps between you and a Kaminii," he said.

Rex had felt intensely uncomfortable discussing the subject out loud and found himself straining to hear Keeli's whispering with one ear and the warning of approaching footsteps with the other.

_The color is a defect. The clone should be disposed of._

_A deviation, yes, but hair color doesn’t effect performance, it would be a waste to scrap it now._

_Perhaps. However, if another aberration presents itself, it will have to be decommissioned._

_I concur._

Still, the longer Keeli spoke, the more things began to make sense. Why Keeli was the only one who ever came close to matching Rex in hand to hand. Why he always spent so much time volunteering in the hydroponics bay, singing to the plants under his breath no matter how many times he was punished for it. Why sometimes Kaminoan's who'd been on the verge of dragging a brother away would occasionally just turn and leave without a word and for no apparent reason.

"Its a gift, Rex. I know it is."

Rex hadnt responded right away, just stared at the bottom of the top bunk above him and tried to remember to breathe.

"Gift or not, Keeli, it's...dangerous," the word vode used instead of 'defective', "if anyone were to find out..." he trailed off and shook his head.

Eventually, Keeli sighed.

"You're probably right." Keeli turned over to face the wall. "G'night Rex."

"G'night."

Rex mimicked Keeli's pose, turning over to his side and pulling his blanket up to his chin. His mind churned for a long time after that and sleep alluded him until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Voice is modeled after The Force in the [Lullabies Series](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1044473) by @Skywalking-Across-The_Galaxy and @gracethescribbler


	2. Teth

As the war dragged on Rex learned to live with what Keeli had called a gift. He learned to never remove his gloves, even on leave, even during down time, if there was a risk he would be touching something that wasn’t his. He learned to use the flashes of foreknowledge that let him be ludicrously effective in battle and save so many lives. But even in that he learned he had to be careful. When during one battle he caught Skywalker giving him a long, thoughtful look. Rex's hands hadn’t stopped shaking for the rest of the campaign.

Until Teth the only experience with the Force that Rex had was the Jedi. They were powerful, terrifyingly so, but always so careful with that power. Their abilities were never turned on Rex’s brothers, they always asked permission before brushing up against his shields - _tighter, taller, thicker, they couldn’t **know**_.

Until Teth, Rex hadn’t really thought about the Dark side.

And it was perhaps because of that ignorance that he wasn’t really afraid at first.

He and his men were focusing on taking out the rows and rows of droids that marched through the blast doors. He was barking orders, trying to ignore the snap of death slicing through his mind. He almost missed it.

Rolling in behind the B2s like the steam off a ship’s engine when it touches down, a wave of ice swept through the room. It hit him in the chest and sucked the air out of his lungs.

“Fall back, fall back!” He screamed over comms. Immediately the men obeyed, filing out the back and side exits, pushing and pulling their injured brothers behind them. Rex turned to do the same but was struck in the shoulder by a stray bolt and fell.

When he came to a moment later he was all that was left. It was the first time he saw her. Dressed in a cloak reminiscent of the ones Obi Wan and Anakin favored, she felt like a black hole at the center of the room. Everything was dampened, as if behind a heavy, wet curtain.

Droids were always unsettling to Rex, they didn’t _feel_ like anything, just vast emptiness where awareness should have been. But her…it wasn’t that she didn’t feel like anything, more like her presence swallowed up everything around her. The air felt still and stale, sound in the room was muted, like being on a space walk where nothing made sound and even explosions were marked by silence. Thats what Ventress felt like. Not like she was lacking life, but was the _absence_ of life.

It set Rex’s teeth on edge and his stomach clenched forebodingly.

But he was a soldier, if there was one thing he could do it was push through.

Rex raised his blaster and fired but Ventress looked up at the last moment and deflected the bolt into the B1 standing between them.

The next thing Rex knew his blaster had been yanked out of his hand by an invisible force and he was being held off the ground by his neck.

Huh. Another thing his Jedi didn’t do.

His hands grappled uselessly at his neck as she demanded to know where his general was.

“I don’t speak to Separatist Scum.” He managed, flailing. Spots started to float in front of his eyes and burning anger scorched the edges of his mind. His heart started to pound.

“Contact Skywalker.” Ventress demanded.

His head twitched. There was something _other_ about her words. Something heavy that pushed against his shields - _taller, thicker, **tighter**_ \- and he grit his teeth.

“No.” He forced the words out of his throat, trying to quell the panic rising in him because he couldn’t breathe but he couldn't let her _win_.

Ventress’ eyes went wide and then narrowed, a scowl pulling the edges of her mouth down toward her tattoos and pointed chin. “What did you just say?”

“I said…. _NO_.” Rex pushed. With what, he didn’t know. He just wanted, no needed, _desperately_ , to get away. She was so _cold_ and _wrong_ and it _hurt_ to be near her _._ He needed to get back to his general and he couldn’t _breathe_ so,

He _pushed_.

Rex dropped like a stone several meters to the ground, jarring his body inside his armor as air rushed back in, making him light headed.

When he looked up, the battle droids and Ventress herself were all tangled up in a pile on the other side of the room.

_(Run, Little one. Run **NOW**.)_

Rex scrambled up onto his feet and ran on wobbly legs that threatened to go out from beneath him - _he’d done that, he’d used - no, it was impossible. He couldn’t. He wasn’t **allowed**_ \- and sprinted down darkened corridors and unfamiliar corners in undirected panic for a few moments before he remembered himself.

“General Skywalker!”

_“Go ahead Rex.”_

“Ventress is here. She’s looking for you and the youngling.”

_“Got it Rex, rendezvous with the men, I’ll take care of her.”_

“Yes, sir.” Rex clicked off his General’s channel and then opened a new one to his troopers.

“Lieutenant Nash, what is your location?”

_“This is Corporal Gimp, sir. Nash is…he’s dead, sir.”_

Rex winced, but pushed the news aside to be dealt with later. He glanced over his shoulder but he wasn't being pursued. He hoped the General caught up to Ventress sooner rather than later.

And he hoped he was careful.

“Alright Gimp, report.”

_“We’ve found a defensible location, sir. Awaiting orders.”_

“Very good, Trooper,” Rex turned down a long hallway that he was reasonably certain lead to a landing platform. “What’s your status?” He needed to know how many ships he would need to request for evac when, hopefully, help arrived.

_“There’s six of us left, sir.”_

Rex’s feet stuttered to a halt.

“Say again, Gimp?”

_“We are zero six survivors, sir.”_

No.

It couldn’t be.

All those men…

Hesitantly, Rex pulled a small section of his shields down and reached out - _dangerous, defect_ \- toward the warm, familiar feeling of his brothers. The vast emptiness that met him nearly sent him to his knees.

Six. Just six left. Just like Gimp said.

Rex slammed his shields back into place and blinked so hard against the moisture in his eyes that he sent his HUD into diagnostic mode.

_“Sir?”_ Gimp's voice was hesitant in his ear and Rex wondered what noise he'd made that unsettled the trooper so.

He took a deep breath and forced himself back into a run.

“Send me your coordinates.” He wrapped his shields in plasmasteel and poured duracrete over the top. “I’m on my way.”

Six men were all he had left. He’d be Sith damned if he lost them too.


	3. Christophsis

Rex understood now, with his rifle pressed against the back of Slick’s head, the stifling weight he'd been feeling in the air. Why the entire time he’d been on Christophsis it seemed as if his skin was too tight and the Voice kept whispering about something that was always just out of sight.

It had been Slick. All this time, all these battles with this Sergeant he’d called brother and friend. Rex hadn’t seen it. Slick was the reason nothing had gone right during this entire kriffing campaign. Countless brothers dead, mown down at the hands of utterly blank droids who walked over their still warm bodies without a thought to the futures they'd cut short.

Rex had _watched_ Hifi fall to his death as they rode the grappling hooks from the North tower to the South. He’d _felt_ Gimp’s life go out moments from safety outside the gunship on the roof. It was all because of Slick. And for _what?_

“You knew I was here.” The _dar’vod_ had the nerve to sound smug, as if it was something impressive to figure out a plan _after_ it was executed and he had two DC-15S blasters pointed at his chest.

“Of course we knew.” Rex snarled, very deliberately keeping his finger off the trigger of his rifle. “Did you think we wouldn’t have a plan?”

“I'm not the traitor,” He said raising his hands slowly, “you are!” Seconds before it moved Rex saw Slick’s hand reach for his gun and jerked back, avoiding an elbow to the face and instead slamming a right hook across Slick's nose and cheek, knocking the former Sergeant to the ground.

Rex clenched his hands into fists, lips curling back in disgust over Slick's body. Beside him Cody's anger was like a fire poker to his own, stoking the flame of hurt and rage. He didn’t think about how he’d been ready to arrest Chopper back in the barracks, had had his binders in his hand when Slick ran. Didn’t think about having to tell the remaining five survivors from Teth that Gimp was dead.

"All of you just blindly following orders, and for what?" Slick choked out, turning up to scowl at his brothers, blood pouring from his nose and mouth. “At least I got something out of all this suffering!”

“Yeah, I bet you sold out your brothers for some real shiny coin, huh?” Rex didn’t realize he was shaking until Cody laid a hand on his arm. His brother wasn’t looking at him, but Rex took a step back anyway and watched Cody wrench Slick up into a kneeling position and slap binders on his wrists and tried not to think.If he just didn’t think, maybe his stomach would untwist and drop out of his throat, maybe his head would stop roaring with white noise. Maybe the icy tendrils of rage that dripped down his spine would slide away.

_(Try to understand, he is hurting, child)_

“Yes she offered me money,” Slick’s voice continued to drone in the background, hysterical, angry, self righteous. As if Cody and Rex were the traitors.

Rex breathed.

“-but she offered me something more important,”

More important. More important than his brother’s lives? More important than loyalty to the oath they’d sworn? Rex screwed his eyes shut, grinding his teeth. In his mind’s eye he saw the faces of Hifi’s batch when he told them he was gone. Felt their devastation washing over him like an icy wave on Kamino.

_(Little one...)_

“Something _you_ wouldn’t understand.” Slick’s seething resentment blazed white hot in Rex’s mind, the burn low in his belly stirred up into a rolling boil by the man’s fury. It snaked out into his limbs and his fingertips tingled and his head ached. The air was thick and heavy, every breath tasted of ash and smoke. Cody’s dismissive disappointment layered over Slick’s oppressive furor swirling around them, scorching hot to the touch and made Rex want to pull away and grab ahold of it at the same time.

“For _freedom!”_

Freedom, at the feet of a Sith. Bought with the blood of their own. 

Rex's spine tingled. His fingers twitched.

He'd never hated a brother before.

Cody had already sent a comm to the MPs and was talking himself out of shutting Slick up himself, when the man launched himself off the floor. Cody took a half a step back, bracing himself for impact…but it never came. Cody blinked. Slick was suspended in the air in front of him, toes barely brushing the ground. His eyes had gone so wide the whites were visible all the way around and soft, wet choking noises were coming from his throat.

Cody’s heart did a jump skip and he brought his blaster up to the ready, his eyes swinging wildly around the room. Dar’jetii? Here? But none of the alarms had gone off, there had been no comm chatter how could…

Cody’s eyes landed on his brother. Rex stood a few feet away, just behind Slick’s shoulder, a furious look on his face that Cody didn't recognize with his arm and fingers stretched out toward…Slick.

“Rex,” Cody breathed, his hands going slack on the rifle. “How…”

Slick made a desperate noise and Cody looked back. The traitor's whole face had gone red, his lips turning blue and his eyelids fluttered.

_ (No, stop!) _

“Rex!”

Slick's body went slack.

**_(STOP!)_ **

Rex gasped and pulled back. Slick plummeted to the ground with a thud and didn’t move.

Cody’s shock only lasted a second before his training took over and he crouched down, pressing two fingers to Slick’s neck.

“Is…is he…”

Cody heard a soft clatter of plastoid and looked up. Rex had dropped to his knees, his face crumpled in devastation and three shades paler than normal.

“He’s alive.” Cody answered the question Rex couldn’t quiet voice and Rex’s head bowed to his chest, his breath coming in short, stuttered gasps. Cody stood up again and stared across the room at his brother, he shifted his rifle in his hand, taking a bit of comfort in the weight of something familiar when it seemed like everything in his universe had suddenly just…shifted.

“Did you just…” Cody was cut off by the doors to the control room opening and the Generals rushing in, followed closely behind by a pair of MP clones. Both Jedi had their lightsabers out but unlit.

Skywalker looked confused. “That’s weird. I could have sworn I felt-”

“It was Slick?” Obi Wan stepped up beside his Commander, already returning his weapon to his belt.”

A moment later Anakin was at his side and the MPs were pulling an unconscious Slick up off the ground.

“How could he do this to his brothers?” The younger General mused aloud.

“What happened?” Obi Wan looked at his Commander, who seemed unnaturally stiff beside him.

Cody went still and kept his eyes on his General. “He resisted.”

“Were you able to save anything at the weapon's depot?” Anakin asked, crossing his arms and sending a dark look to the unconscious clone being pulled out of the room.

Obi Wan listened with half an ear as Anakin grilled Cody about the damage to the base and gave him a quick run down of their encounter with Ventress. The Master’s attention had instead been pulled to the other occupant in the room. Rex was on his feet now, but he’d been kneeling when they entered.

The man’s force presence was one Obi Wan was almost as familiar with as his own Commander’s. Always steady, thrumming a muted beat against Obi Wan’s mind that was almost grounding in it’s dependability. But right now it felt unsettled, as if teetering on the edge of a precipice. 

“Rex?” Obi Wan reached out with the Force, hoping he could perhaps sooth the disturbed clone. Obi Wan knew how close the men were to each other, knowing they'd been betrayed by one of their own couldn’t have been easy on the Captain.

But the moment Obi Wan’s mind brushed against the bare edges of Rex’s shields his presence recoiled and Rex physically flinched. The man’s shields had always been formidable, but even in that briefest of touches Obi Wan had felt cracks that hadn't been there before. And Rex’s immediate rush to reinforce them was nearly audible in the Force.

Obi Wan raised his hands in a placating gesture.

“It’s alright, I’m sorry. I meant no harm.”

Rex was fighting to keep himself upright and swallowed hard. He felt confused, anxiety tightening like a vice around his chest so that he couldn't quite take a deep breath _\- defective! what did you do? -_ but he lifted his chin and did his best to smile.

“It’s alright sir, you just…surprised me.”

Obi Wan brought his arms down to fold across his chest and stroked his beard.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Captain?”

Rex just nodded, reaching for his discarded helmet and shoving it on his head.

“Yes, sir.”

“Glad to hear it, Rex.” Anakin spoke up from the other side of the room, tucking his hands behind his back. “Because there’s about a thousand battle droids headed for this base at this very moment. The fight goes on, gentlemen.”

Obi Wan gave Rex one last long look before turning to leave the room behindhis former Padawan. Rex made to follow but Cody stepped in front of him.

He waited until the doors closed behind the Generals to speak.

“Rex. What was that.”

Rex appreciated that his voice held no fear, just carefully modulated concern.

“I…I don’t know.” Rex managed, his composure failing him as the memory of Slick’s face and the anger he’d felt rushed back in like the biting cold wind on Orto Plutonia. He shivered, driving the feeling down to the dark part of his mind where the impulse to choke Slick had come from and hastily erected a few walls around it, pulling away immediately.

"I fought Ventress on Teth." He blurted out suddenly. "She was choking me, just like," he winced and Cody's eyebrows drew together. "I don't know what happened. I just...I did something and then they were all on the other side of the room. I did that. I don't know how but..." Rex sucked in a breath. He felt like he might be sick.“...Cody.” 

The crack in his voice made his brother reach out and grab his shoulders, pressing one hand to the back of his neck and thumping his forehead against Rex’s bucket.

“Okay, vod’ika, okay. Everything’s gonna be alright.”

Rex tried to nod. Tried to breathe. Tried to believe.

“Are you sure?”

Cody nodded and pulled back, catching Rex’s eyes through his visor.

“Yes. Of course. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Cody licked his lips. “But…maybe we should tell the Generals-”

Rex jerked out of his arms. “No.”

“Rex they can help you-”

“No! Cody you know what the punishment is for this.” Rex threw his arms out to his sides. “I’ll be on my way back to Kamino faster than you can say Defective Product.”

“You’re not defective, Rex.” Cody took a half a step forward but stopped when Rex backed away. His chest twisted with hurt at the wariness, but he couldn’t exactly blame his brother for the instinctive reaction.

He waited, expecting Rex to argue his point, fight back like he always did.

Instead Rex’s shoulders slumped and his brother, his equal in almost every way and his superior in more than one, his little brother seemed to shrink before this very eyes.

“Cody…please.”

Cody took a deep breath and sighed, nodding.

“Yeah, Rex, I won’t say anything.”

Rex’s shoulders unhitched immediately. “Thanks, vod.” He said with a long exhale.

“I just have one question.”

Rex went still. “What?”

Cody tipped his head toward the door. “You almost killed Slick. And I know you didn’t mean to, but what happens next time? You have this power Rex, I know you don’t want to think about it but you do. How long before someone gets really hurt because you don’t know how to control it?”

Inside his helmet Rex bit his lip, his gut churning and a cold sweat soaking into his blacks.

“I don’t know.” His voice was barely a whisper. Cody pursed his lips and walked toward him again, this time Rex didn’t back away.

“Okay. Then, think about it at least. I promise not to say anything,” Cody laid a hand on his shoulder and Rex leaned slightly toward the steady, reassuring presence of his older brother. “If you promise to think about asking one of the Jedi for help.”

Rex tried to swallow but every drop of moisture appeared to have left his body and his mouth was sandpapery and raw.

“I promise.”

_(Soon, Little One. Soon.)_


	4. Rishi Station

_“All the preparations for your invasion are in order.”_

_Her face was hidden in the hood of her cloak but Rex would know that voice anywhere. Low and rough, it scraped along the edges of vowels, throat straining against some unknown abuse. She always sounded as if she was on the verge of smiling at your expense._

_“Good, our fleet is approaching the system. We are almost at the rendezvous point.” General Grevious’ voice was garbled, like a droid that was interrupted halfway through it’s vocal diagnostic sequence._

_Ventress dipped her chin deferentially at the cyborg, they stood on the bridge of some kind of ship, but the edges of what he could see remained hazy and indistinct so that he couldn’t quite place it._

_Her yellow eyes flashed ands he turned to face him._

_“Such a pity you won’t be in time to save your brothers,” her lips spread to to reveal a row of sharp, pointed teeth. “Don’t worry. I promise not to hurt the little ones," her words raised bumps on his skin and he shivered at a bone deep cold in the air, “much.”_

_The sound of lightsabers igniting and glowing red filled his mind, their gentle hum distorted into a high pitched, painful wail._

_"No!"_

“Rex!”

Jerking up in his bunk, eyes not even open, Rex slammed into Cody’s chest.

“Vod? Rex, can you hear me?”

Cody’s heart was beating wildly so he could only imagine what Rex was going through. He'd noticed Rex seemed unusually still when he got back from the fresher. A closer look had revealed his brother was not only not moving, he wasn't breathing. 

It had been in that moment that Cody noticed the way their armor plates were vibrating against each other on the other side of the room, despite the fact that this planet had no seismic activity to speak of.

"Rex?" Cody kept his voice low and steady and dipped his chin to make eye contact with his brother. He, very carefully, didn't look toward the armor rack.

A quick, jerky nod. “Yeah, yeah, I just can’t…” Rex cut himself off with a wince and pressed a hand against his chest, “I - I can’t-”

Cody nodded, shifting to sit a little more on his brother’s bunk and moved his hands up to both of Rex’s shoulders.

“Alright, everything is fine. We're gonna get through this." He nodded, noting how cold and clammy Rex's skin felt despite the heat in the room. "Can you tell me five things you can see?"

Rex tried several times before he managed to swallow, his eyes darting erratically around the room. Cody knew the moment he saw the armor plates because they went from clattering just a little bit to knocking about loudly against each other on the rack.

“Is that - am I - _Cody.”_

Cody gave his shoulders a little shake, swallowing his own worry. Force stuff aside, if there was one thing Cody knew how to do, it was talk a brother down after a bad night.

“Five things you can see, Rex.” He repeated, a little more weight in his tone. Automatically Rex stiffened into something approximating a seated attention.

“My karking armor plates vibrating on the rack.” He managed, sounding strained and scared out of his head.

“Good. Keep going.” Cody interjects quickly, hoping to divert a deeper spiral on that subject.

“Um, our boots by the door.”

“Good.”

By the time Rex was through four things he could hear and three things he could feel their armor had long since gone silent. Two things he could smell saw Rex starting to slouch with exhaustion under Cody’s hands and Cody himself had allowed his shoulders to drop down from his ears.

“Alright. One thing you can taste.”

“Cody,” Rex looked up at him and Cody quirked an eyebrow.

“You can taste me? I know we’re close Vod but…”

“Cody, we have to go to Rishi Station.” Rex interrupted, ignoring Cody’s playful tone and resisting a full body shiver as Ventress’ face appeared in his mind’s eye again. “They’re in danger.”

“What kind of danger?”

Rex shook his head and took a deep breath, bringing both hands up to press his palms over his eyes. “I don’t know.”

Cody took a deep breath, and pulled his hands into his lap. “Well we’re scheduled to arrive at Pastil tomorrow and then Rishi-“

“No,” Rex grabbed Cody’s arm, his eyes wide and desperate. “Cody, I don’t know what that was, but its wasn’t just a normal dream. It was almost like…like a warning. Something that hasn’t happened yet. I think…” He swallowed hard, looking uncertain and then shrugged. “I don’t know. Just…can’t we just rearrange things? Let’s go to Rishi first. Maybe it’s nothing and we do the inspection and go to Pastil right after. But what if it’s not nothing, Cody. What if it’s important?” It had to be. The Voice was insistent. Rex couldn’t find it in himself not to listen.

Cody gave his brother a long look. Rex didn’t ask for things. He was a good soldier, followed orders like he was born for them. And if Cody hadn’t known the man on Kamino, born witness to the wild streak the Kaminoans had done their best to beat out of him, he might not have believed it existed. It was good they’d failed, Cody thought privately, Rex would never be able to keep up with the feral Krayt dragon he called a General otherwise.

“Okay,” he nodded and tapped Rex’s knee with two fingers. “We’ll go to Rishi first. I’ll figure out something to tell the General.”

Rex relaxed entirely, as an invisible weight was taken off his shoulders. “Good. Thank you.”

Slowly, Cody got up, moving across the room, and Rex drew his legs up to rest his arms on his knees and bow his head.

“Rex.” Cody said quietly, he’d picked up a leg plate that had been rattled loose from the rack by Rex’s…by Rex. “Have you thought anymore about talking to one of the Jedi about this?” He asked, turning the plate over in his hands.

Rex swallowed. “They could still have me decommed Cody.” He met Cody’s eyes when he looked up and raised an eyebrow at him.

"You really think Skywalker would do that? Or Kenobi?"

“Maybe not. But I'm not sure I"m ready to risk it.”

Cody was silent as he turned to put the piece back with it’s counterparts and returned to the bunk, climbing in beside Rex instead of up into the rack above him.

“You think you can learn to control it all on your own?”

Rex laid down and, still feeling unsteady, let his mind reach toward Cody’s, wrapping himself in his older brother's grounding presence. It helped unhitch some of the remaining weight in his chest.

“No.” 

Cody’s only response was to throw an arm over his stomach and jam a knee into his thigh. A few minutes later, they both drifted back to sleep.

* * *

Obi Wan stared out the front of the Cruiser, stroking his beard and lost in thought. Watching the stars slip by in hyperspace was a good substitute for meditation in a pinch and Obi Wan was certainly in need of some centering.

There was a war on and Obi Wan was one of many Jedi who had long been disturbed by the role of leading an army the Order had been thrust into. That in and of itself was enough to occupy the man’s thoughts most days. Add to that a Padawan and grandpadawan that had a penchant for getting into trouble and a million clones that comprised a slave army (two things that were supposedly outlawed by the Republic a century ago) and it was a wonder the Jedi slept at all.

But none of those things were occupying the forefront of Obi Wan’s mind currently.

Instead, it was a minor mystery, a niggling feeling in the Force that left him feeling unsettled, unable to relax due to some enduring feeling of unfinished business.

The Force was pointing decidedly in the direction of a certain Clone Captain, though the reason why continued to elude Obi Wan.

With a sigh, he turned away from the viewport and walked back across the bridge to where his Padawan was bent over a holoprojecter with his trusty astromech at his side.

“Still here Anakin? When was the last time you slept?” Obi Wan said, as if it hadn’t been a full ten-day since the last time he had a full night’s sleep himself.

“I’ll sleep after we’ve found General Grievous.” Anakin responded, rubbing his eyes in such a way that gave very little credence to his previous statement. He then turned to his former Master, eyes narrowed as if catching the whif of ‘hypocrite’ on the air. “Why are you still up?”

It was a testament to how tired Obi Wan was that he didn’t even try to come up with a dismissive statement about the last time he slept.

Rex was Anakin’s second, after all, maybe he would have some insight.

“I was just thinking. Anakin, have you noticed anything unusual about Rex lately?”

“Unusual?” Anakin wrinkled his nose, exchanging a quick glance with Artoo. The droid beeped cheerfully. “Not particularly. Why do you ask?”

Before Obi Wan could respond they were interrupted by Admiral Yularen announcing from the other side of the bridge that there was an incoming holocall.

A tiny projection of a clone illuminated before them.

“Cody, how goes the inspections?” Kenobi said, voice warm and smiling. Even during the hardest campaigns (or the longest bouts of insomnia) he found comfort in the presence of his Commander.

_“The tracking station on Kothlis is fully operational.”_ Cody answered, _“Captain Rex and I are proceeding to the outpost in the Rishi system.”_

“Rishi? Wasn’t Pastil to be your next stop?”

_“Eh, yes sir. However, we’ve had a change in plans.”_ Cody cleared his throat, _“Sergeant O’Niner has some concerns about the conversion ratio for the Tabanna power couplings. Thought it was a bit more pressing at this time, sir.”_

Anakin’s eyes bounced between the Master and the Commander a few times before Obi Wan answered.

“I see.” The was something off about Cody’s tone, but to be fair, it could have been blamed on on the spotty transmission quality. Or Obi Wan’s own exhaustion. “Very well, Cody. Report back once you’ve clarified the situation.”

_“Copy that. Cody out.”_

Cody turned off his comm and walked over to where Rex was loitering outside the Obex.

“General bought it?”

Cody nodded. “He did.”

Rex’s shoulders loosened slightly and he turned to put a hand on the ladder that lead up to the cockpit, but didn't start to climb.

“What?” Cody asked when Rex hesitated.

“Thank you. For believing me.” Rex turned a serious look to his brother. Cody was saddened to see the lines of stress and worry written so plainly in his little brother's face.

“Always, vod." Cody bumped his shoulder against Rex's and continued with something near laughter in his tone. "Anyway, this is what I like about you, you keep things interesting.”

Rex huffed and Cody could tell by the twitch of his helmet that he was rolling his eyes.

“Too interesting.” Rex grumbled.

“No such thing vod.” He jerked his chin up then ladder. “Now get going. Rishi station awaits.”

* * *

“Rishi outpost this is Commander Cody, do you copy?“

There was the hiss of static and then,

_“Commander, this is Sergeant O’Niner. You’re early._ ”

Cody smirked. “Good to hear your voice too, Sarge. We’re coming in.”

Sergeant O’Niner was one of Fox’s batch and he had the attitude to prove it. They were older, they'd already been Commanders on Geonosis, veterans of a brand new war when Cody and Rex were still shinies. A lot of the surviving older batches were put in commanding positions at critical outposts and stations in Republic territory after the first part of the war. Men like Fox who'd gone to Coruscant or Commander Colt on Kamino, who had the experience and skills to keep those critical planets safe from Separatist plots.

“You know the Sarge?” Rex asked from the forward seat, he was ever the professional Captain, but Cody could tell he was more eager than usual to arrive at the outpost.

“Yeah, he was a batch ahead of mine on Kamino. You?”

“I’ve met him a few times, he guest instructed during ARC training a couple times.” Rex smiled at the memory. “Got a lot of joy out of humbling young, headstrong ARCs.”

“Were you one of them?” Cody asked, his tone saying he already knew the answer.

“No comment.”

Cody laughed to himself. “Well then, since you’re so familiar with the Sarge, how about you be in charge of this inspection?”

“Sir?” Rex asked, the unexpected offer driving him into formality.

Cody shrugged, continuing to tap out a few corrections to their course and bring them into a landing trajectory for the moon. “You’re the one with the inside track, Captain. It’s all yours.”

Rex stiffened, his hands stilling over his own instrument panel.

“Aye sir.” He said quietly.

Cody frowned. “You alright?”

"Yeah.” Now that he'd been reminded of it he couldn't help seeing Ventress' reflection out of the corner of his eye, even though nothing was there when he looked. It put him on edge. “I just..I hope this wasn’t all for nothing.”

“You think you misinterpreted the vision?”

Rex winced. He was a clone. They didn’t _have_ visions. Though, they also didn’t have the ability to throw people across the room with their mind so,

“Not exactly.” Rex wasn’t sure why he was still feeling uneasy. He’d listened to the Voice to the best of his ability. So why did it feel like he was on the verge of missing something?

Cody leaned forward to knock his knuckles against his shoulder plate. “Don’t worry, Rex. I’m sure we’re arriving in plenty of time.”

Rex just nodded and guided their ship to the landing pad.

When Cody and Rex climbed out of the Obex there was a kid standing on the platform waiting for them, back rigid and gaze slightly averted.

“Protocol perfect, I’d expect nothing less from one of O’Niner’s men.” Cody commented, standing casually behind Rex’s shoulder. Rex had his hands tucked behind his back and returned the trooper’s crisp salute.

“Captain, Commander, I’m CT-327. Welcome to Rishi Outpost.”

“At ease Shiny. We’ll get started right away with,” Rex broke off at a strange shiver running down his spine and a painful twisting in his gut.

“Rex?”

Cody took half a step forward, but Rex suddenly whirled around and looked up just as the shield around the base activated and it and the surrounding area was bombarded with ground shaking debris.

“Meteor shower? Did you see any meteors incoming on our approach?”

Rex shook his head, his hands going to the hilts of his DCs. “This isn’t right.” He muttered. A sharp cry behind them had them turning. Both Cody and Rex pulled up their weapons lining up the Commando droid with it’s gun to 327’s bucket in their sights.

Rex blinked through his HUD settlings to scan the adjacent area even as he kept his eyes on what could only be described as a metallic sneer on the enemy droid's face. They were quickly being surrounded.

“Cody…”

“I see them.”

“Kid? Get ready.” Before the droid could decide to better it’s odds Rex shot a single bolt, sending sparks flying and the droid crumpled to the ground in a heap.

“Hit the deck!”

Blaster bolts filled the air immediately, their high pitched whine wreaking havoc on Rex’s auditory processors and he belly crawled behind Cody to the stacks of crates nearby (sloppy, those should have been moved inside the base upon delivery, but Rex wasn’t going to downgrade them for it just now) and put himself back to back with his brother to lay down cover fire for their Shiny who was lagging behind.

“You alright kid?” Cody shouted over the din of battle.

“Aye sir.” The kid responded immediately, and Rex reached over to shove his head down when he leaned too far up to get off a couple shots.

“Watch it kid, this armor’s blaster resistant but a head shot will still kill you.”

“Aye sir!” 327 shouted again.

“Rex! This is no good, we’re gonna be overrun and cut down in this cross fire.”

The Captain nodded. “I know,” _(Look, Little One, pay attention!)_ Rex glanced up and saw a handful of thermal detonators arcing through the air, heading straight for the Obex. “I have a plan.” He shouted, crouching down and switching the setting on his blaster, Cody nodded and followed suit, but 327 didn't notice, still firing around the corner of the crates at the enemy.

_(Go! Go now!)_

“We have to go!” Rex reached out to pull the kid behind him to the edge of the platform.

**_(NOW!)_ **

Rex jumped just as the Obex exploded.

Beside him, dangling several meters above the ground, Cody hung from his own grappling hook.

“You alright there, kid?”

Rex grunted under the weight of the shiny he had plastered to his side and rolled his eyes at the smile in Cody’s voice.

“Yes sir.” The kid’s voice was shaking and Rex tightened his hold on his waist.

“You ever use your grappler?”

“Only in Sims, sir.”

“Well, it’s time for your practical,” Rex glanced up at where his hook was straining against the underpinning of the charred platform. “Try to land your hook near ours. I don’t know how long we’re gonna have to hang here and I don’t think I can keep holding the both of us with one hand.”

“Aye sir.” After a few sloppy tries the kid, Staves, had his hook in place and was swinging free, Rex was glad to be rid of the extra weight and switched hands as they decended.

“Staves. Cardshark then?” Cody asked once they were on the ground and hiking along the rim of the canyon toward the base.

“No sir. My brothers are just exceptionally bad at Sabacc.” He responded, a hint of teasing in his voice. "I just take advantage of it."

Rex smiled, glad to hear the kid loosening up some. Cody was good at that, putting others at ease, Rex had always envied him for it.

“Alright, Staves, what scramble set are you using on this base?”

* * *

Fives slammed his fists down on the control panel.

“I can’t raise him, the explosion must have damaged his comms.”

Droidbait whirled around from where he had his DC-17 pointed at the blast doors. “But we’ve got to get to him!”

“DB.” Hevy put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “You know as well as I do he was probably overrun by the droids.”

“If so, he died serving the Republic,” the Sergeant added, stoic and calm as usual. None of them noticed the way he was gripping his hands behind his back so tightly his fingertips were white from bloodloss. “The Officers too. It’s the best end any of us clones can hope for.”

“Sir…what do we do?”

O’Niner looked up at these boys, this batch of Shinies that had been pushed through their training too fast to really be ready to the fight the war they’d been bred to die in.

“Our mission is to defend this facility at all costs. That’s what we'll do. First we need to-“ 

Their comms all cracked with static at the same moment and O'Niner lifted his arm to answer.

“This is Sergeant O’Niner, say again?”

_“Sergeant, this is Captain Rex. We are outside the base with your Sentry,”_ behind him O’Niner heard a couple of the boys let out a short, relieved breath, _“what is your status?”_

At the sound of metal creaking they all turned to see a white hot spot of a blowtorch carving through the blast doors.

“About to be overrun by clankers.”

_“Understood. Recommend you and the survivors rendezvous with us outside the base so we can regroup and come up with a plan to get out of this cluster and warn the Republic of the impending invasion.”_

O’Niner’s stomach dropped. Invasion. Of course. Thats as the only logical explanation for this attack.

“Of course, Captain,” He saw movement in the corner of his eye and found Cutup waiving from the other side of the room, holding the covering for the air grate in his hand. He smirked. “We’re on our way.”

* * *

Rex couldn't believe the plan had worked as well as it had. They hadn't lost a man, an entire batch of shinies trailing along behind he and Cody like a flock of baby porgs.

He calculated how far they’d need to be to be safe from the LT explosion and potential cave-ins as he picked his way along the ridge. They stayed crouched low, just in case any of those Commandos were snipers out looking for some easy kills. Rex cursed silently their bright white armor, standing out like a beacon against the dark rock and bit his lip, asking the Voice to keep them hidden, though he wasn't 100% sure it would do any good. It couldn't hurt anyway.

“Should be far enough. Sarge, hit the…” He glanced back down the line, counting one less set of armor with him than there should have been. “Where’s the Sarge?”

From the back of the line, Echo spoke up.“He stayed behind to get the detonators working.”

Rex activated his comm. “O’Niner, what’s your status?”

_“The remote isn’t working, Captain. I’ll have to detonate it manually.”_

Rex’s mouth went dry.

“Oh no,” He turned to Cody, his bucket hiding his stricken expression, though it could do nothing for the fear in his voice, “we have to get up there.”

As one, the group turned to make their way back to the hatch that they’d used to escape the ill-fated base.

_“Negative, Rex. This is my base. My mission is to protect it, but more importantly, when this base goes up the Republic will know something is wrong. This is the only way to protect our brothers on Kamino.”_

“No, wait, Sarge!” 

Flailing outward, Rex's mind reached for O'Niner _(Stop, it's too dangerous!)._ Maybe he couldn't do anything, maybe it wouldn't _matter_ , but he had to try, he had to-

The base exploded above their heads and rocked the moon's surface so violently they all stumbled to their knees. 

The sensation of touching a mind as it winked out of existence rocked Rex the way no concussive blast ever had. He felt his body fly apart in the explosion, white hot pain, too sharp, too close to even scream. He was caught in the void, in the vacuum of space, thrashing and weightless and _alonealonealone._

"Rex, you okay?" 

He was not okay.

_(Five things you see.)_

Cody kneeling in front of him. Fives and Echo pressed into Keldabe. The caves of native lifeforms. The wreckage of the Obex. Smoke from the base. 

_(Four things you hear.)_

His heart hammering. His breathing, too fast. His HUD, beeping about this heart. Cody, trying to get his attention.

_(Three things you feel.)_

Empty. Empty. Empty.

_(Two things you smell.)_

The semi-filtered air in his bucket. Moonrock dust.

_(One thing you taste.)_

Ash.

Rex blinked and breathed deep. His body felt small all of a sudden, but at least he could tell where the ground was. Cody was reaching to remove is bucket but he pushed him away. His eyes stung, a headache throbbed in his mind where O'Niner's presence used to be.

He climbed to his feet.

“We best find a location where the LAATi’s can spot us.”

* * *

Aboard the _Negotiator_ , Cody dismissed the men who’d attended the medal ceremony. The Jedi had already wandered away, but Rex was still standing, staring blankly out over the hanger bay. 

“You alright, vod? You've been quiet ever since we got back.”

Rex took a deep breath. Cody noted the tension across his shoulders and how he blinked but it didn’t seem to bring him any closer to the present.

“I felt him. When he died.”

Cody knew he was staring, but he wasn't sure how one responded to that. 

"I'm sorry." He managed after a moment.

Rex bit his lip, frowning down at his hands. "I couldn't save him. Why - what good is this...being able to do these things...if I can't save them?" 

“Rex, you got an entire squad out of there alive.” Cody reached out to grab his forearm. “Who knows how many of them would have made it if it weren’t for you?”

Rex pursed his lips and shook his head. He wondered who would tell Fox, and his heart ached for his brother.

“Cody’s right, Captain.”

Both men turned to find Obi Wan approaching, over his shoulder Anakin was on his knees, elbow deep in some poor mouse droid as Artoo hovered nearby looking superior.

“If you hadn’t requested a change in the inspection schedule things could have gone quite a bit differently. I have no doubt many more lives would have been lost.”

Cody turned back to give Rex a meaningful look before excusing himself. Traitor.

Obi Wan came to stand at Rex’s elbow and he fought not to stiffen, giving his shields a cursory sweep to make sure they were solid as had become his habit of late, especially when in close proximity to Jedi.

“I thought I might go to the Mess for a celebratory bite to eat.” He tilted his head, “Would you like to come with me?”

Anakin’s presence was always a bit agitating, making Rex feel restless, like he was caught on the edge of an oncoming storm and if he didn’t keep moving he’d be swept away. But General Kenobi’s presence had always been soothing to Rex, like water lapping gently at the edge of a lake.

"I'd like that, sir."

They were nearly to the door of the hanger by the time Rex felt settled enough to breech their easy silence.

“Do you enjoy being a Jedi?”

Obi Wan had his hands clasped behind his back and smiled slightly at the floor. “Yes, most of the time. Growing up in the creche, it’s all I've ever wanted. Though I admit, leading an army isn’t exactly what I pictured.”

Rex nodded, he’d often heard the Jedi refer to themselves as Peacekeepers. Many of them seemed disturbed by their role in the GAR, as if there was some contradiction between fighting for peace and defending it in the first place. But, that was the point of the war, wasn’t it? Peace at all costs. His brothers, O'Niner, had died for peace. So that one day there would _be_ a peace for Jedi to defend.

“I sense you are troubled, Captain.”

Rex glanced over, alarmed. What else could he sense?

“No sir. Just…thinking. About war. And peace.”

Obi Wan chuckled lightly, leading them through the doors into the Mess. “Deep thoughts for an empty stomach.”

The corner of Rex’s mouth lifted. “Yes sir.”

“So, are you going to share your ruminations on one of the great philosophical topics of our time?” Kenobi asked once they were seated, somewhat apart from the other occupants at a table in the corner. For the most part rank didn’t exist in common areas like the mess or the gym. But when Jedi were present, things tended to shift toward formal. Things had started to loosen with Rex’s own Jedi, Anakin and Ahsoka tended to discourage formality at every turn, but there was still very much an air of reverence when it came to General Kenobi.

Rex poked at his food, his appetite nonexistent.

“It’s nothing particularly enlightened General.”

“Perhaps not, I'd like to hear what you have to say,” Obi Wan made a point to catch the Captain’s eyes and smiled encouragingly. “Please.”

“I was just thinking about..keeping the peace. How you often have to wage a war to get there.” He shrugged. “It’s like how you Jedi are always talking about the Light. But…I’ve always believed, you can’t have light without dark. A planet with no night is just as unpleasant as one with no day. Feels wrong. Unnatural.”

Obi Wan took a deep breath and sat back slightly from his tray, and wiped his mouth with his napkin.

“There is certainly a level of logic to that. In fact, there was a time when there existed Jedi who believed as you do. Who sought to use both the Dark and the Light. They were called Grey Jedi.”

Rex pushed his plate aside, untouched. “What happened to them?”

“Times changed. The Order changed.” Obi Wan sighed, that slump on his shoulders that said he was carrying a weight Rex couldn’t see. “A lot of things don’t exist anymore.”

“What else has changed? Besides Grey Jedi?”

Obi Wan tilted his head, smiling at the Captain again. “Why so many questions about the Jedi?

Rex sat up, back going ramrod straight. “I was just curious. I apologize if I’ve overstepped, sir.”

“No apology needed Captain.” Obi Wan raised a calming hand. There was something sharp and knowing in his eye, Rex held his breath. “I want you to feel free to ask questions, anytime. I enjoy encouraging you and your brother’s curiosity. Just…promise not to judge me too harshly if I need to spend some time in the Temple archives researching the answers for you.” 

  
Rex smiled. “Deal, sir.”


	5. Point Rain

“I honestly don’t know what happened," Rex laughed, trying to control his volume and massaging his aching cheeks. "One minute I had this thing in my sights. Ugly, you know? One of those kriffing beasts evolution practiced on.” Rex tilted a bit further than intended with his exuberant gesturing and overcorrected, wobbling too far back in the other direction. “Bird head, Loth Wolf body and these huge kriffing claws like this,” he held his hands apart for scale but was laughing too hard to make it accurate. “The thing smelled like week old wet bantha poodoo on top of it all.”

“And they say clones are unnatural.” Keeli cackled, upending the flask Rex had produced almost a half an hour ago to down the last remaining drops.

“Right. So, next thing I know I’m like…I could almost feel it’s thoughts okay? Well..not exactly thoughts. More like impressions. And I thought it was gonna bite my head off but the Voice kept saying _‘concentrate, concentrate’_ but I didnt kriffing know what I was supposed to be concentrating on!” Rex doubled over laughing, nearly bonking Keeli’s head with his own. Keeli didn't notice, eyes scrunched up and watering, breathless from laughter.

“Stop, stop,” he squeaked, “I can’t breathe.”

“So I…so then I…” Rex managed, trying to keep his story on track as the threads of the narrative became more elusive by the moment.

“I get my blaster and I get a shot off," Rex bit his lip, grasping at composure, Keeli snorted. "And the Voice, Keeli, the Voice is going _nuts_. Just _screaming_ at me,” Rex lost his battle and fell over giggling again, even though he knew for a fact the experience hadn't been funny at all at the time. He drew his legs up and curled toward Keeli whose mouth was hanging open as he pounded the dirt, gasping for air.

“It’s screaming at me, right? _‘No don’t shoot it, it’s just hungry’_. Like I don’t kriffing know that it's hungry while the thing is kriffing _salivating_ on my _head_.”

“It’s just hungry!” Keeli wrapped his arms around his middle, pressing his face into the ground. “Gods I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe.”

Rex forced a deep breath and trailed off into giggles, flopping over onto his back to stare at the top of the tent. A few moments later Keeli got himself under control and did the same, his left boot clumsily knocking into Rex’s lantern, nearly upending it.

“So how’d you get away?”

“I concentrated.” Rex smiled, nearly sending himself into another laughing fit. “I was able to tell it I didn’t want to be dinner.” Keeli turned to look at him. Rex grinned. “And when that didn’t work I threw it a ration bar.”

The effect was instantaneous. Keeli was cackling again, clutching at Rex's chest plate and banging his forehead against his pauldron. He kicked his legs in childish glee and this time he did knock over the lantern.

Watching his brother giggle like a cadet on the ground beside him, Rex regretted a little not being able to feel it. He remembered the way Keeli’s presence used to twirl and spark around him when he was well and truly wound up like he was now. It would have been a balm to Rex’s nerves to indulge in it, more so than the drink and the company already was.

But Rex tried to be more careful than that on campaigns, especially with so many Jedi around, and in his current state he worried he wouldn’t be able to maintain his control well enough to keep from alerting one of them.

Behind him at the flap of his tent he turned toward the sound of footfalls followed by the loud clacking of bracers, the campaign version of a knock at the door.

“Yeah?” He lifted his head slightly off the ground.

“Captain, it’s Kix.”

With a sigh Rex dropped his head back into the dirt.

He caught Keeli’s eye and mouthed ‘medic’.

“C’mon in Kix.” 

Keeli gave a theatrical roll of his eyes and then schooled his features just as Kix ducked through the tent flap. He dipped his chin respectfully.

“Lieutenant.”

Kix nodded, back. The medic’s sharp eyes immediately clocked the two empty flasks between the Captains, who were both dragging themselves up into a seated, slightly more presentable position. He raised an eyebrow that was entirely too judgmental for Rex’s tastes.

“It’s fine Kix.”

“You’re drunk, sir.”

Rex gave him a dull look. “For now. You know it’ll all be metabolized out of my system within an hour.”

“Thank you Kaminoan engineering!” Keeli said cheerfully with a sloppy ‘kark you’ salute.

Kix sighed deeply and barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes.

“Not the point, sir.”

Rex scowled. “Keeli’s drunk too. Why are you only yelling at me?”

“ _He_ is not my Captain.” Kix raised an eyebrow at the other man all the same. Keeli had righted the lantern and was rubbing a hand over the intricate designs shaved in his hair, trying to avoid eye contact. “Although I think I saw Meds out there looking for you, sir.”

Keeli plastered on a huge, fake smile. "Thanks LT. I'll be sure to look him up."

The medic was neither amused nor convinced. "Of course. Sir."

“Kix, I assume you had a reason for coming here that didn’t include scolding your COs?”

“Yes sir,” The man said, sounding insubordinately annoyed. He lifted a hand held medscanner. “I came to check you over after the incident today.”

Keeli’s head snapped up instantly and Rex glared at Kix, who unrepentantly sank to his knees and booted up his device.

“Incident? What incident?” Keeli’s voice was suddenly sober and serious and Rex had the impression of being under the scrutiny of two scanners. Kix’s med scanner and Keeli’s penetrative gaze looking for bloodstains or scorch marks he might have missed.

“It was nothing.” “Skywalker thew him off a wall.” Both answered at the same time. Keeli’s eyebrows shot up.

“He _what?”_

“I didn’t die.” Rex muttered.

Kix scowled. “And I intend to keep it that way.” He shook his head, fiddling with a few buttons and readouts on his scanner. “Jedi forget sometimes that we’re just lowly nulls. Throwing people off things and over things and onto things. As if it matters to your inner organs and the delicate blood vessels in your brain that when you were stopped suddenly you didn’t actually splatter on the ground.”

_ Karking Wizard di'kuts.  _

Rex blinked at the sound of words in his mind that didn't come from himself or the Voice. He looked at Keeli, eyebrows raised he signed, _did you hear that?_

Keeli's chin dipped minutely. His fingers tapped a quick word out his leg plate. _P-r-o-j-e-c-t-i-n-g._

Rex squinted, his fuzzy brain trying to remember why that word seemed familiar.

“Well, miraculously it seems like you don’t have any internal damage from the fall _or_ the stop.” Kix looked up from his scanner and settled back on his haunches. “I still think you should let me-”

“Leave it, Kix.”

The medic rolled his eyes and climbed to his feet. “Fine.” He paused, before leaving, Rex and Keeli both sitting with their elbows propped on their knees and staring at the walls of the tent. “I’m glad you’re alright.” Kix said, quietly.

Rex looked up at him.“Thanks, me too.”

Kix nodded and then bent over, snatching Rex’s last flask of alcohol from the extremely worn out hiding place of under his bedroll. “And you can have _this_ back when we get back to the ship. If you’re lucky.”

Rex glared but let the medic leave without complaint. He was right, Rex shouldn’t be drinking on a campaign, even if he would be dead sober in less than an hour (kark you very much long necks) it wasn’t professional. So what it had been an exhausting several cycles of constant battle and barely any down time. So what he was barely keeping his head above water with Powers he didn’t understand that, now that they'd been unleashed once, were constantly pressing against his mind and trying to get out. So what his Jedi had thrown him off a wall today.

So what.

Rex pulled himself out of his thoughts to find Keeli still staring at him. 

Before he could bring up the Incident again, he asked, "What's projecting?"

Keeli shifted to lean back with his palms out behind him and his ankles crossed in front. "General Di says it's when someone's guard is down and their thoughts or strong feelings get pushed out into the Force and Jedi pick up on it even if they don't mean to."

First, Rex felt panic. The Jedi might be able to sense his feelings, _his thoughts,_ when he wasn't aware? He filed that idea away to obsess about later because crashing in behind the panic was regular run of the mill fear for Keeli because,

"You talk to your General about this?" 

His brother bobbled his head. "Not exactly. I've asked questions, here and there, nothing in specific. General Di is happy to oblige my curiosity." 

Rex nodded, relaxing slightly and rolling the tension out of his shoulders. 

"Kenobi said the same thing." He shifted slightly, glancing at Keeli who was picking at something on his knee guard. "Cody thinks I should tell one of the Jedi. He thinks they could help me learn control." 

"What do you think?"

Rex shook his head and dropped it back to look at the roof of his tent. He could almost see stars through the thin fabric. 

"I think things would be easier if I didn't have this kriffing power." 

Keeli made a considering noise. "Maybe. Or maybe things would be a lot worse." 

A few a moments passed in contemplative silence. Then Keeli reached over to bump their bracers together and caught Rex’s eyes with a small grin.

“Did you use the Force? To keep from smashing into the ground?”

Rex smiled, shaking his head, refusing to rise to the bait.

“You did, didn’t you?” Keeli nudged him again, grinning harder. “Didn’t you Rex? You used the Force. You clever little Captain you.”

Rex laughed leaning over to give Keeli a shove. His brother wobbled dramatically.

“No. I didn’t. Skywalker caught me.” He paused. Keeli waited. “At least, that’s what _he_ thinks.”

Keeli howled and Rex grinned and launched himself at him, sending them both rolling on the floor, getting dirt in their bedrolls and upending the lantern for a second time. They wrestled like cadets instead of trained soldiers, a tangle of limbs and plastoid clattering about in the dark.

The sound of grunts and swearing punctuated by quick barks of laughter that could be heard from the Officer's tent was unbecoming of a pair of Clone Captains and Kamino’s finest.

But Rex didn’t care. He was just glad not to be alone.


	6. Saleucami

Rex blinked up atwooden beams and a darkened ceiling. The air was humid and still, it smelled of raw grain and large domesticated animals.

He’d already worked out that he wasn’t alone but it still made him startle and wince when a face popped suddenly into view.

“H’case.” He muttered, raising an arm to his aching head, only abort the movement and press it to his ribs instead. His eyes went wide then, as he realized he’d been stripped to his blacks. Instinctively, he curled his hands into protective fists. “What h'ppened?”

The younger trooper grinned. “Glad to see you’re awake Captain. That explosion knocked you for a loop.”

Rex grimaced, attempting to push himself up to a sitting position. He felt Hardcase’s hands on him, helping, and tried not to gasp at the way his ribs ground against each other in his chest.

“Explosion?” He managed, after a moment, bracing one hand in the soft dirt beneath him, eyes still closed. He let his head lean back against a post.

“Yeah,” Hardcase’s voice was close and soft. “You’re both lucky those droids missed. They could have taken out any one of us with that sniper shot. Instead they hit Kix’s speeder. It exploded and sent you both flying.”

Rex’s eyes popped open. Speeders. A blaster bolt. The Voice screaming a warning and Rex had just… _flailed_.

“Where?” His eyes scanned the darkness wildly. “Where's Kix?”

Gods no, he didn’t, he couldn’t. If he’d hurt Kix, if something had happened to him because Rex couldn’t control…

He started to stand and bit back a cry when his whole body protested, and his knees buckled.

“Easy, Captain. I don’t think you should move yet.” Hardcase shifted and glanced over his shoulder. “He’s over there. Jesse is…” He trailed off with a shrug. If Kix was injured badly enough to not be fussing over his Captain who had up until recently been unconscious, Jesse would be well within his rights to be hovering.

“Case. Help me up.”

“Captain, I’m not sure you should.”

“Hardcase.”

And the other trooper knew better than to try and argue with that tone, so he reached out, wrapped his hands around his Captain’s forearms so Rex could do the same, and pulled him to his feet.

Rex stumbled as he came to his feet, confused. There was a group of men beside him, grinning and threatening each other with paintbrushes dripping in 501st blue. Hardcase’s voice echoed in his head, teasing and advising on paint patterns.

He knew, by the way Hardcase stepped in close to put an arm under his shoulders, that he thought the misstep was from his injuries. Would have known it even if the incorrigible trooper hadn’t been muttering curses under his breath beside him.

“I’m alright, Case.” Rex said, a little breathless, pulling his hand back to himself and blinking until the other troopers faded away.

Hardcase didn’t respond except to help him over to Jesse and Kix.

“Captain.” Jesse stood, his hand still folded in Kix’s. “You’re awake. Good.”

Rex nodded. “How is he?”

Jesse and Hardcase had Kix laid out on a table in what appeared to be a barn for housing Eopies. There was only one currently there, standing in a stall in the corner, trunk swaying and sniffing the air curiously in their direction.

“I’m not sure, sir. He’s the medic.” Jesse shrugged, biting his lip and rubbing his thumb across the back of Kix’s hand.

Rex swallowed, leaning away from Hardcase slightly. “Jesse,” he hedged, not wanting to say what his rank, his duty, required of him. “I know you don’t want to but…”

“I know Captain,” Jesse cut in, reminding Rex, again, why he was his Second. “Hardcase and I are heading out to finish the mission. We were just waiting until one of you woke up.”

Rex resisted biting his lip and nodded. He wanted to argue that he would join them, but he wasn’t ignorant to the way the edges of the world were spinning and blurry, not to mention he couldn't take a deep breath without his legs going out from beneath him.

“Alright. Reach out to the General and Cody, let them know what’s happened and get it done. If we can, we’ll meet with you in the morning. Otherwise you may need to send a ship for us.

Jesse nodded and Hardcase gave his shoulder a pat before turning away. The Lieutenant bent low, pressing his forehead to Kix’s for a long moment before straightening. Rex was distracted, wallowing in a pool of guilt as he took in Kix’s pale, slack face, so that he didn’t quite notice Jesse coming around the table to his side. Didn’t react fast enough when he reached for his hand and squeezed.

“Watch out for him, Captain. And take care of yourself.”

Rex swallowed and nodded, trying not to look over Jesse’s shoulder at Kix, grinning into a sloppy kiss with his legs wrapped around Jesse’s waist and low, lurid moans coming from them both. "You too.”

Jesse let go and turned to leave with Hardcase. Rex sighed in relief and sagged against the side of the table.

“Well kriff, Kix.” He muttered, running a hand down his face. “You could’ve warned me.”

The medic wasn’t looking good. There was a thin sheen of sweat across his face and his chest rose and fell with shallow, ragged breaths. The moonlight pouring in through the partially opened door caught a small triangle of white against his skin where the top of Kix’s blacks were riding up. Carefully, Rex pushed the fabric up, exposing the a small, woefully inadequate bacta patch. The square of white was surrounded by dark purple and red bruising that told of a much deeper, far worse problem just below the surface.

Rex slowly peeled the patch back to get a better look, flinching just slightly at the sight of Jesse’s face, desperate, worried, pleading, and set it aside. There was no open wound on Kix’s abdomen, but that did nothing to settle Rex’s worry.

His headache flared in that place deep in his mind where he kept things he didn’t dare name. He saw Kix’s armor rack, cleared off and empty. Heard the echo of The Remembrance and a dozen brother's voices breaking over Kix's name. Tasted ash and smoke on the back of his tongue.

The guilt returned with a vengeance. Rex pressed a hand to his face. If he’d just left well enough alone, if he hadn’t panicked when the Voice started screaming in his ear, if he’d had more control, if been more careful…

Kix was going to die and it was all his fault.

Rex pushed back violently against the thought. He stamped down on the rising panic.

No. He wouldn't let this happen. He wouldn't let Kix _die_. Not here and not like this. 

Not if there was anything he could do to prevent it.

_\- Help me -_ Rex asked the Voice, quiet and uncertain even in his own mind. He felt like a fraud, he had no right to be asking. The Voice was the Force, he knew that now and it was wrong, forbidden, to ask it for anything. He asked anyway. _\- Help me save him, please. -_

_(Listen, Child. Listen closer)_

Rex closed his eyes, he felt the Voice reaching toward him, a pull and push in his being, light pulsing in his core. And for the first time in his life, Rex reached back. _-Tell me what to do. I don’t know what to do.-_

_(Concentrate. You have the knowledge. You know how to help him.)_

Rex frowned, _-Concentrate...but on what? -_

_(On the Goal. Release your fear. Let me **see** you.)_

The Force, Rex thought, could use some lessons in giving clear instructions. He must have projected that thought because the air around him hummed with amusement and something like a nod.

_(You must look for the hurt without using your eyes. Lower your walls, Little One. Let me in.)_

Lower his walls. That was instruction Rex had no chance of mistaking. His shields. The only things keeping him safe, keeping him hidden.

_(You must, Child. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Let me guide you)_

Rex _was_ ignorant of this. He wasn’t a healer. He wasn’t a Jedi. He wasn’t sure any of this was possible.

But.

If it was. If there was a chance.

If Rex didn’t take it he was going to have to look Jesse in the eyes and tell him his _riduur_ had died when he wasn’t there. That Rex had been too afraid for his own life to do what he had to to save Kix's.

Rex dropped his walls.

And the Voice _sang_.

A warmth like a soft breeze tickled the hair on his arms and the back of his neck. All at once Rex wasn’t just aware of Kix, a light, warm and soft but dim in front of him. He also felt the eopie behind him, not just curious; mischievous, hungry, lonely, missing it’s sisters outside. He could feel people nearby, fondness, exasperation, love. The shreikhawk over head, hungry, searching. A colony of bog-ticks in the field, the eopies in the pasture, the river just beyond and the teeming life inside it, the forest and the plains. Then a wall of warmth, of a hundred minds, a knot of shimmering _devotion_ that brought tears to his eyes.

His _brothers_.

And Cody. A pinprick of unwavering calm and light.

And just beyond his brother there was a beacon. A blaze of bright determination and power with a ribbon of peace and regret woven through it. Rex was mesmerized by the colors, sparking and dancing together, swallowed up and then reborn and so much _more_ than everything else he’d felt.

Rex jerked back into himself, gasping and pressing a palm to his ribs.

_General Kenobi._

If the Jedi had been paying any attention, there would be no doubt of what he’d felt. But Rex couldn't worry about that now.

He looked down at Kix, his bruised torso and waxy skin. The Jedi always said the Force was a part of everything, even clones. Rex thought he was starting to see what they meant. It was intoxicating, this feeling of _life_ flowing within just this one planet. What it must be like to feel that all the time? What was it like on Coursacant, with so many billions of minds in one place? Or Kashyyyk, where the whole planet was a living thing?

Rex could feel it now, with his walls down. A sense of being and oneness humming against the edges of his mind. He wondered if perhaps he could somehow transmit that life, just some of it, from out there, through himself…and into Kix.

The Voice seemed to think so.

Rex carefully laid his hand over Kix’s side, a featherlight touch against the darkest area of the wound. He closed his eyes and _concentrated._

_(Good, Little One, you understand)_

He didn’t. But he was beginning to.

He was alive. He was _more_ than alive. The air swelled around him and heat and light poured into him, slid along his spine, tingled inside his veins. He was lightheaded and achy, too full, too heavy, he might float away. His fingertips burned against Kix’s skin, his labored breathing hammered against his senses, against his mind. He was incandescent, he was bursting, higher, faster, more, more, beyond, so much, _too much,_ he could feel everything, he was burning, he was _dying,_ he- 

A hand on his wrist and Rex's eyes snapped open, he sagged as everything suddenly fell away and he felt so so small. The medic’s eyes were open, boring into him.

“Kix,” he croaked. He dropped to his knees. The barn seemed darker, emptier than it had before, and Rex wondered if that was real or just in his head.

He was on his back, Kix kneeling beside him, frowning.

“Kix.” He said again, trying to summon the strength to reach for his vod. Was he real? Had it worked? His color was better, his eyes flashing and hands moving over Rex’s body, looking for injury Rex was sure he would find. He could help him even, direct him to the places that hurt the most (everywhere, everything was heavy and everything hurt), if he could just get his clumsy muscles to work.

The barn was getting darker by the moment. He decided that had to be in his head after all.

Just before the blackness claimed him, he was sure he heard Kix grumble, low and annoyed.

“Di’kutla Jetii.”

* * *

Obi Wan jerked suddenly to one side, over balancing on the top of the AT-TE he was standing on as it lumbered across the Salucami landscape.

“Are you alright sir?” The trooper beside him was half out of his seat reaching for his General, but Obi Wan waved him off.

“I’m fine.” He muttered. He squinted out into the darkness across the dozens of sets of bright white trooper armor illuminated by the twin moons around them, trying to pinpoint what he’d felt. There was a disturbance in the Force. Which shouldn’t have been a surprise, considering Greivous was on the planet. But the null cyborg had never done anything remotely resembling touching the Force before.

And besides, this presence hadn’t felt malevolent. In fact, it had felt familiar. Almost like…

Kenobi reached for his comm, but before he could activate it, it chimed to indicate an incoming message.

“Kenobi here.”

_“General, this is Lieutenant Jesse. We’re closing in, sir. We have a visual.”_

“Very good. Have you run into any problems?”

There was a crackle of static and then, _“Well sir, had a brief run in with some Commando droids. Both Captain Rex and Lieutenant Kix were injured. We found them a safe place to recuperate until the mission was completed and they can be retrieved.”_

Obi Wan tilted his head.

“Alright. We’ll meet you in the middle then. Kenobi out.”

* * *

The next time Rex woke up was a much less jarring experience. He was still laying on his back, still looking up at dark wooden beams. But the smell of sweat and animals was replaced by warm, smokey spices and a wood burning fire.

Nothing was particularly familiar about his surroundings, but the sound of brothers arguing nearby relaxed him enough to take his time gaining his bearings.

“I was just another expendable clone, waiting for my turn to be slaughtered in a war that made no sense to me. Can you understand that, Kix?”

“I’ve been in countless battles, failed to save many brothers. They were my family, the only home I’ve ever known.” The sound of creaking wood and a sigh. “Still are.”

In the ensuing silence Rex sat up on what he found to be a well worn, but very comfortable pallet of cushions in a small seating area. His head still swam and his arms felt weighed down with durasteel, but that seemed like an improvement from before.

Breathing was easier at least, Rex brushed a hand down his blacks and felt his chest and torso had been wrapped tightly, supporting the broken ribs.

“Hungry?”

Rex looked up to find a pink Twi’lek woman holding out a plate of roast Nuna and vegetables. He cleared his throat feeling awkward and slightly out of place, hadn’t he been in a barn last time he was awake?

“Um, thanks,” He took the plate, and for a moment the savory smell of meat was replaced with citrusy soap and the sound of high pitched children’s laughter and running water. _“No splashing Shaeeah!”_

“What is it?” The woman tilted her head, a lekku falling across one shoulder, she smiled and folded her arms, “you were smiling.”

Rex’s throat tightened, but he forced his smile to stay in place. “Nothing. Just…a happy memory.”

The woman’s smile softened and she turned as the two men Rex had heard talking approached. Kix took a seat beside him immediately, poking and prodding his handiwork as the medic was wont to do. Rex’s attention, however, was entirely focused on the man with his arm wound round the waist of the Twi’lek.

A brother Rex didn’t recognize.

“Captain Rex. How are you feeling?”

Rex licked his lips. “I’ve been better, but I’ve been worse.” Truthfully his head was still killing him and he could have easily dropped back to the cushions and slept for another standard rotation at least, but the soldier in him wouldn’t allow it.

“Well, that’s good, we were getting worried. I’m Cut Lawquane, this is my wife Suu and-”

In that moment a tiny Twi’lek child came bounding across the room and attached itself to the brother’s leg.

“Daddy? We finished our chores, can we go outside and play?”

“Alright. Just for a little while,” Cut smiled indulgently at the children. They both erupted in cheers and ran for the door. “Keep the house in view.”

“We will,” they promised, gleefully bounding out into the warm evening air.

Suu gave the door a fond smile and turned to kiss Cut’s cheek before making her way back over to the kitchen. Cut dropped into a chair.

“You’re a deserter.” Rex said, studying the clone thoughtfully.

“I call it exercising my right to choose.” Cut said with a dismissive wave. “Your man Kix and I have been having quite the philosophical discussion on the subject this evening.”

Beside him, Kix snorted and Rex glanced over to find him giving Cut a careful, considering look.

“That’s one word for it.”

Rex sighed and looked down at his plate of food. It smelled amazing, but he was too tired for this. Too tired to think, too tired to eat, too tired for deserters with families and last names and _children_ for Fett’s sake.

“Don’t even think about it.” Kix said, stopping Rex mid movement to put the plate on the low table in front of them.

“Kix, I’m not hungry.”

“I don’t care,” his eyes flicked to Cut, who was smirking at them both, “sir.”

At that Cut rolled his eyes and stood, going to join Suu in the kitchen.

“Captain,” Kix continued, his voice pitched just above a whisper. “I know what happened back there. In the barn. And we are going to talk about it. Later. Right now you’re going to sit here and rest and eat every bit of this food. Understood?”

It spoke to Rex’s exhaustion that he didn’t argue. Instead he made a show of cutting the meat into smaller than bite size pieces and pushing them around his plate. He had eaten nearly a third of it under Kix’s watchful, and frankly unhelpful, stare before the medic seemed satisfied and got up to rejoin Cut at the Dejarik game.

A while later Rex was dozing on the seat pallet, soaking in the warmth and contentment that was very nearly woven into the blanket Suu had brought him, when he suddenly jolted awake and shot to his feet.

“Captain? What’s wrong?”

Rex’s heart pounded in his ears. He didn’t know what was wrong. He just felt _something_ was. Or…was about to be.

The children.

“Daddy!!”

“Daddy monsters! Mama!”

All four adults poured out onto the porch and Suu and Cut pulled their _ad_ into their arms. It didn’t take long to figure out the ‘monsters’ the children had stumbled upon were in fact a squad of slightly malfunctioning, still extremely deadly, commando droids.

And not much longer than that for Kix and Rex to realize they were not in charge of the plan of attack.

“Rex, you’re injured. I need you to be the last line of defense for my family. Kix and I will try to pick them off down here.”

Rex hesitated, he didn’t like sitting at the rear flank. But he understood Cut’s point. From where he stood Kix, though a medic, was a trained and fully functional soldier. But Rex was still having trouble staying upright on his own. He was a liability. If being the last thing that stood between commando droids and the most precious people in Cut’s life was all he could do, then thats just what he would do.

“Alright. I’ll take care of them.”

Cut nodded at his back. “Thank you, Rex.”

* * *

Back on board the cruiser, Rex was in his quarters after a brief visit in the medbay where Kix checked his field triage work and then reiterated his promise that he and Rex would be having a Conversation soon, before dismissing him like a misbehaving shiny with orders for rest and another meal.

He’d skipped the Mess in favor of collapsing into his bunk as quickly as possible and appeased the medic in the back of his head with a silent promise to eat a ration bar when he woke up. He’d been through tendays long campaigns with nothing more than a few stolen naps in full kit and endless Stims that hadn’t left him as drained as whatever he’d done to Kix in that barn.

He’d just gotten comfortable, his ribs a dull ache easily ignored in favor of gleefully acquiescing to the pull of exhaustion, when he heard his door chime.

Rex groaned, rubbing a hand over his face a couple times before dragging himself to his feet and over to his door.

“General Kenobi.” Rex straightened, blinking at the red-headed Jedi standing casually outside his door with a tray from the Mess, as if this was a normal occurrence.

“Hello Rex,” Obi Wan smiled and lifted the tray. “May I come in?”

Rex nodded dumbly and stood aside, allowing the General to enter. By the wary look Rex was giving him, the use of his name rather than his rank had not escaped the younger man’s attention. Good, perhaps he was already getting an idea as to the off-the-record nature of this conversation.

“Kix thought you might not take his advice to get something to eat seriously. He needed someone to bring this to you.” Obi Wan stood near the wall, giving Rex as much room as possible in the tiny space.

“You didn’t have to do that, sir.”

Rex sunk to sit on the bed and gestured toward the chair that sat pushed in to the desk molded from the hull plating. Kenobi dipped his chin gratefully and took a seat.

“I don’t mind. I wondered if you might be able to answer a question for me.”

“I’ll try, sir.”

“When I spoke to Jesse and Hardcase, they were very concerned for Kix, they seemed to think his injuries were quite severe, much more serious than what could have healed in a single night. But Kix seems fine.”

Rex bit his lip and focused on his breathing.

“I’m...not sure what you’re asking me, sir.” Rex hedged. Obi Wan stared evenly across the space at him, not giving an inch. If Rex wasn’t feeling quite so raw and spent, he might have held up longer under the famed Negotiator stare. “They were obviously mistaken.”

“Hm, yes,” Kenobi sat back, crossing his arms and folding his hands into his lap. “I thought the same. Except they seem to have estimated _your_ condition perfectly.” He raised an eyebrow at the bandage bulking under Rex’s top blacks.

Rex opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure of what to say. He couldn’t very well lie to him, he served with Obi Wan often enough to think of him as ‘his’ as much as Skywalker and lying to his General was unthinkable. Rex shifted, glancing around the room, painfully aware of The Jedi’s steady gaze.

To give his hands something to do he reached for the pudding cup on his tray and tugged back the plastifoil lid.

“Here you are.”

Rex looked up and grit his teeth at the sight of the Jedi holding out a spork. And Rex, the _di’kut_ he was, wasn’t wearing his gloves. Again.

“Thank you, sir. I’m, um, I'm not hungry after all.” Rex returned the opened pudding to the tray. He folded his hands together and shoved them between his knees.

Obi Wan let his hands drop back down and fiddled with the small utensil a moment before pulling something else out of his belt.

“Perhaps if you had these.”

Rex’s mind went blank and his mouth was dry so fast he almost choked on his next breath.

“Sir...where did you get those?” Rex stared at his gloves, laid innocently beside the tray of food.

“They’re not yours,” Obi Wan explained, “I picked up a pair from the QM on the way here. They’re new, never worn. Only I have touched them and only briefly.”

Rex’s eyes snapped up to his Generals, and he was sure the Jedi could hear his heart pounding inside his chest and the way his breathing had sped up as if he’d just finished a ten klik sprint.

“I’ve never seen you take your gloves off before, Captain. Not to eat, to tend to an injury, nothing.” Obi Wan said, watching Rex carefully. He was still holding himself still, like prey caught in the crosshairs of a hunter. “I’m close friends with Quinlan Vos. He never takes his gloves off either.”

The silence was heavy, leaden, deafening and thick. Rex couldn’t breathe.

“Sir.” He licked his lips, tried to ask the Voice for calm, to make the Jedi just _leave_.

But the Voice was silent and trying to reach for it left his mind feeling scorched and numb, like burning his mouth on his caf in the morning.

“Rex, I have some suspicions about what I sense from you. I’ve been meditating on it for some time. And I can sense your fear. What I don’t understand is why. If you are able to touch the Force, then-”

Rex leapt up from the bunk and backed up to the other side of the room, pressing himself to the wall furthest from the Jedi.

“I’m not. No sir. I’m just a clone. I don’t have the Force. I wouldn’t do that.”

“Rex,” Obi Wan wisely didn’t stand, but he did raise his hands, keeping his voice low and calm. “It’s not a matter of doing anything. If you have the Force, it is just a fact. I would like to help you. The Force is a gift Rex, let me help you. Please.”

_It’s a gift, Rex._ That’s what Keeli had said.

“It’s dangerous.” Rex said, barely audible. He locked his knees to keep from sliding to the floor.

“The Force is powerful, yes, and if misused...”

Rex was shaking his head, the movement minute and terrified.

“Thats not what I mean.” The words rushed out in a whisper.

Obi Wan dropped his hands, still sitting, trying to keep his posture open and relaxed. He was rewarded with some of the tension draining out of Rex’s posture, his head thumped back against the wall.

“Will you send me back to Kamino?” He asked, eyes closed, resignation and pain in his voice.

“Kamino?” Obi Wan frowned. “Why would you be...” Obi Wan blinked, drawing a straight line conclusion from Rex’s fear and the Clone’s general shame around deviation from their design, to some of the uglier rumors he’d heard about the Kaminoan’s quality control methods.

Not rumors, then.

Obi Wan took a deep breath and released his anger into the Force. He saw Rex wince as he did so and narrowed his eyes. Rex’s shields were usually much too thick for him to be bothered by a release of emotion like that. Even if he was as strong in the Force as Obi Wan suspected.

“Rex...have you ever heard of Force exhaustion?”

Rex blinked and looked at him, wondering at the sharp port turn the conversation had taken.

“Sir?”

"I'll explain it sometime, but I think you may be suffering from it." Obi Wan stood. “I apologize, it’s obvious you need your rest. I shouldn’t have brought this to you now, it wasn’t fair after what you’ve been through recently. Perhaps you could come to my quarters tomorrow, eleven hundred hours?”

Rex swallowed. He didn’t have much choice.

“Of course, sir.”

Obi Wan nodded and then went to do the door. He paused before opening it. “And Rex? You have nothing to fear. Not from the Jedi, or the Kaminoans, do you understand? You will not be punished for this. The Force,” he paused, smiling somewhat distantly, “the Force is very happy to have you.”

Rex stood in a daze for a long time after Obi Wan left, staring at the door. Eventually his legs failed him and he slumped onto the bed, pressing his face into his pillow.

“Kriff me.”


End file.
